Will i ever get my husband back after treating him so bad,I love him?

My husband and I have been seperated for 8 mths,we were married for 18 yrs and almost the whole time I put him down and controlled him by not letting him have any money even tho he was the one earning it,I argued with him constantly,I kicked him out of our bed 3 yrs ago and when I let him have with me I would tell him to hurry and get it over with,he left me and moved in with a teenage girl,that ended after 3 wks,then he was with another teenage girl,I told him he was a child molester and I made his life hell,he said he thought of suicide,now we are kinda getting along and I realise I still love him even tho i have never showed it or told him,he wasn't the perfect husband either he cheated on me the whole time but he said he was trying to feel good about himself after i would put him down,my mom was the same way with my dad so its all i've ever seen,we got married 4 wks after meeting and we have 2 sons,I also have a daughter from a previous relationship,my husband raised her.